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Coming to Grips with Reality

2/26/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
"Oh sure, Mom has forgotten her keys/sweater/wallet,
but that is because she is getting older. There is nothing really wrong with her."

"Well she needs a bit more care than she used to, sometimes she doesn't remember to turn the stove off after making dinner, but she's mostly fine with living on her own."

These are the excuses we make for our parents, until the doctor tells us it's the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's. A death sentence in our minds. Now what? 

As a caregiver, or future caregiver, you should talk to your loved one. Tell them you will be there for them, they don't need to go it alone. If you don't know what to say, contact your local Alzheimer support organization. 


Then tell others. Don't be embarrassed, share what is going on with those closest to you. Here's what one early stage patient said: “It’s a funny thing. Some of the people I was most worried about telling turned out to be really understanding. There were others too, though, that just didn’t understand at all.”

And we're here to help. We've been through this process and know what to expect. We can help you find the right support group, locate care facilities for the future and make plans so that everyone can be prepared. If you don't know where to turn or what to do next, drop me an email.

Take Care and Stay Healthy!
Debbie Carroll, Founder
The Senior Sage

2 Comments
Ray Burow link
3/4/2014 10:57:31 pm

Thank you for this post, Debbie.
Today is the anniversary of my mother's passing from this life to the next. She succumbed to Alzheimer's disease after a brave ten year battle. I agree, that it is important to share the diagnosis of the disease with close, trusted friends, but unfortunately, there is a stigma associated with dementia. For this reason, I would encourage caregivers to choose wisely, the friends with whom they will share. Soon enough, the disease will become obvious, but in the early stages, when the patient is still able to communicate effectively and to socialize, it is important to keep life as normal as possible. Dementia steals everything away from its victims and unfortunately sharing the diagnosis too early can sometimes quicken the process, by stripping away choices. Good friends will continue to include the affected party in social events during the early stages of the disease, while others might shun them. It is important to keep life as normal and as stimulating as possible, especially following an early diagnosis. Trusted friends and family members can help with this process. While the dementia patient is still able to attend functions, loved ones may accompanying them and gently look guide them through social nuances that might present a challenge. http://voices.yahoo.com/how-live-alzheimers-disease-12514850.html?cat=70

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Debbie Carroll link
3/5/2014 11:03:00 pm

Ray, please accept my sympathy on the anniversary of your loss. I agree that there is a stigma. However, I found that educating family and friends helped lesson that stigma. If I were to have told them that my mom had cancer no one would have replied, "No she doesn't, she looks the same as she did a month ago." which was a response that one person made when I told them. Often times people see the changes and wonder what is going on. One of my mom's friends said that she was relieved when we shared that she had dementia. She felt that we were in denial. It's all in perspective and what is comfortable for your family. In my moms case she was getting lost driving so we had to address that when the threat of her safety and the safety of others was being compromised. It is truly a tough disease to the people that have it and the people who care for them.

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    Debbie Carroll is the Founder of The Senior Sage and knows first hand what it's like to be a caregiver.


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